How to Choose Bathroom Paint Color, According to a Psychologist

Photo by me through Midjourney. yellow is a warm, optimistic color that energizes. the warm pink tiles with the yellow paint create an energetic and cheerful Vibe.

Often when people have asked me the best color for a particular room, I’ve struggled to answer because colors can affect each of us differently.  I’ve since attempted to narrow down a few considerations when choosing colors for specific rooms, starting with the bathroom. So if you’re interested in how to choose bathroom paint color, according to a psychologist, read on. 

Let’s start with some basic info about color. Color is characterized by wavelengths of visible light. The sensation we experience when objects reflect light is what we recognize as color. When light hits an object all the colors get absorbed except the one we see. So when we see orange, all the other colors have been absorbed with the exception of orange.  Full absorption is black and full reflection is white. 

For simplicity, colors can be divided into warm and cool colors. Warm colors like red, orange, and yellow are longer wavelengths; and cool colors like blue, green, and purple are shorter wavelengths. Long wavelength colors hit the retina for a longer period of time, and tend to energize and excite us. On the other hand, short wavelength colors hit the retina for a shorter period of time, putting less strain on the eye. They tend to calm us. To complicate things even more, a hue, the basic attribute of the color we see (like red or green) can be cooler or warmer depending on what other colors it is mixed with. 

Photo by me through Midjourney. THis Glossy Red is sure to stimulate sleepy mornings.

Beyond our basic physiological responses to color, we also have cultural and personal experiences with color that affect our reaction to it. Researchers have used the term Ecological Valence Theory (EVT) to explain how shared ecological experiences result in near universal associations between colors and emotions. For instance, many of us associate yellow with the sun and perceive the color as optimistic. But this may not be the case in hot, dry climates like Egypt where the sun can feel more antagonistic than optimistic. Essentially, we tend to prefer colors associated with things we like. This can explain why many of us are drawn to turquoise and watery greens that remind us of the sea, airy freshness, and/or cleanliness. 

Beyond near universal pairings between colors and emotions, we also have our personal experiences with color. If a color reminds us of a bad experience we’ve had, we will likely have an adverse reaction to it, even if it is generally considered a pleasant color.

Now that we’ve gotten the basics of color out of the way, let’s consider how we approach choosing a color for bathrooms. First, we need to answer some questions about the characteristics of the bathroom. Here are some to start with but you may have more.

  1. Is it a communal bathroom, the only one in the house?

  2. Is the bathroom one to luxuriate in, or is it wash and go?

  3. What is the mood you want for your bathroom?

  4. Are there windows in the bathroom or is it purely artificial light?

  5. If your bathroom has a window, what direction does it face, north, south, east, or west?

  6. If your bathroom has purely artificial light, is it cooler or warmer light?

Photo by me through midjourney. This cool, minty green may possibly soothe tough work days.

So if there is only one bathroom in the house and others are fighting for it, then possibly consider a warmer color, a stimulating one that prevents people in the house from lingering. Research shows that red tends to increase perceptions of speed, making time seem to go faster. On the other hand, if you want bathtime to be a luxurious experience, consider cooler colors like blue, green, or purple, and in deeper shades. The deeper tones have richness and weight, and can feel supportive. For a wash and go bathroom others aren’t fighting over, still choose a more stimulating color as mentioned above. 

Once you’ve determined the function, you’ll also need to determine the mood. Do you want it to feel homey and cute, cool and minimal, elegant and chic, dramatic and sexy, or something else? Warmer or cooler colors will work for any mood, but it is the way these colors are used that will give the mood you are looking for. For instance, homey and cute may be reflected through bright and balanced, complementary colors; and dramatic and sexy may be reflected through one bold color. Keep in mind that complementary or contrasting colors will also be more stimulating; and colors on the same side of the color wheel will feel less intense and more soothing.

If there are no windows in the bathroom, you’ll need to consider the artificial light used. Soft, white light is known to make warm paint colors more intense since it picks up the warm tones in the soft light. Cooler paint colors appear more dull since the soft light doesn’t pick up the cooler tones. Fluorescent lights are known for giving off a bluish color, and share similar temperatures to cooler paint colors. If you have fluorescent lights, consider using cooler paint colors to give a harmonious atmosphere, and intensify the cooler colors. 

If your bathroom has windows, you’ll want to consider that south-facing windows get the most light and heat, and north-facing windows receive the least light. East-facing windows are lightest in the morning, and give off cool light, whereas west-facing windows receive the most light in the afternoon, and the light is strong and hot. As follows, if your bathroom gets lots of warm sunlight, consider using warmer paint colors. The warm sunlight will enhance the wall color, creating a unifying feel. Similarly, cooler sunlight will enhance cooler paint colors.

But maybe you want something other than a unifying feel; and are looking for a dynamic contrast or visual interest. If so, pair warmer paint colors with cooler natural or artificial light, or warmer paint colors with cooler natural or artificial light.

Photo by me through Midjourney. This crimson glossy red has deeper, cooler blue or purple tones making it a bit more soothing.

Again, the answer to how to choose bathroom paint color is a complex one that depends on our physiological responses to color, cultural and personal experiences with it, the context in which the color is presented, the unique qualities of the room, and the function of the room. Here is a checklist/summary to make it easier. Consider the following:

  • The function and desired mood of the bathroom

Consider the function of the bathroom when making a decision about warmer or cooler paint colors. Warmer colors excite and energize, and entice people to move more quickly; and cooler colors calm and relax us, causing us to linger longer. Note that any color can be warmer or cooler, or have warmer or cooler undertones (like in the case of neutral colors).  Next, determine the mood you want (e.g., homey, minimal, elegant, sexy). This will help you decide how you use the colors (e.g., complementary colors may feel homey and cute).

  • Your cultural and personal experiences with color.  

Consider your ecological experiences with color as well as your personal experiences with it. For instance, green may remind you of nurturance and stability, or it may remind you of bad shag carpeting. If you are adverse to green, consider that there may be some shades of green you can tolerate that may be cooler or warmer.

  • The direction of the windows and temperature of the artificial light.

For a unifying experience, natural light (warmer or color) or artificial light should be the same temperature as the wall color. For a contrasting, visually stimulating experience,  you can contrast natural or artificial light with the wall color.

Hopefully these considerations resonate with you and/or you may have some new ones to add. Either way, let’s discuss, how do you choose bathroom paint color?

Help! I Hate How I Look: Using Clothing to Manage Body Image Issues

In the earlier part of my career, I worked as a therapist, mostly meeting with children and adolescents. I had a heart for my teens, often seeing them in response to significant trauma and helping them navigate identity issues. Without trauma, the teen years are hard enough. They’re spending lots of emotional energy trying to figure out who they are, and how they want to be in the world; and depending on life circumstances, that can come with a lot of self-sabotage. Unfortunately, too many of us can recall the, “I hate how I look” flare-ups we had during those angst teen years.  

With that said, it’s no surprise that dissatisfaction with appearance or body image is a major issue that comes up during my clinical work (I still do evaluations from time to time). Whether a teen presents with anxiety, depression, or any other mental health issue, it’s often expressed through and complicated by body image issues. And the way it usually looks is an overwhelming disdain for a specific part or parts of the body like legs or arms. What’s more, they equate their poor perception of their body to their self-worth, and feel less than valuable as a result. 

Sadly, body image issues don’t stop at adolescence. We often nurture body images issues well into adulthood such that when life gets challenging we tend to revert back to self-destructive patterns, including being preoccupied with what is wrong with our body. And the “I hate how I look” fits continue to be a part of our coping style well into our adult years. It goes without saying that we are more than our bodies; and one way to counter body image issues is to meditate on other things about us we know (even if we don’t always feel) are good and worthy of praise, like varied skills, kindness, bravery, and the list goes on.

Another way to counter body image issues is through clothing. According to Entwistle, author of The Fashioned Body, clothing is much more than a form of adornment, it is the way we learn to live in our bodies. There are tons of articles on ways to hide perceived body imperfections with clothing; and while many are useful, you can not use clothes to hide a largely poor self-image. Clothing and the body work as a team, and the body gives meaning to clothes and vice versa. Without the body, clothing is just a well-constructed piece of fabric. So in order for clothing to reach its full potential, it needs a body to give it life, soul, and the unique energy only a living breathing body can give. This is why two people can wear the same outfit and look quite different. If we value our body, it can live out its full essence within the context of clothing.

Of course, we don’t have to have a perfect body image to wear clothes well. Many of us are  struggling to improve our body image and progress isn’t a straight line. But in the meantime, we can use clothing as a tool to feel good about ourselves in our bodies, letting go of the “I hate how I look” outbursts we may have come to fall back on. Here are three ways clothing can help us manage our body image. 

1. Clothing helps us become our ideal

Just as Halloween costumes allow us to embrace the hidden parts of us, everyday clothing can work in a similar way. Our clothing gives us an opportunity to take on characteristics we admire, simply by wearing clothing that has symbolic meaning for us (a.k.a., enclothed cognition). To be clear, clothing does not have symbolic meaning without context, we associate it with the people who wear them and at a particular point in time. When we think of something like a beret, a tie, or black stockings with the line down the back (a personal favorite, ha!), we have a vision of what those clothing items symbolize. And if we enjoy wearing them, it is generally because we have seen it worn, and internalized what we think it means to wear them.

With that in mind, the ability to express ourselves through clothes and take on characteristics of our ideal look allows us to compensate for shortcomings we experience when we are anxiously preoccupied with our bodies. According to a 2012 article, Expression of Personality Through Dressing using clothing to compensate in this way helps us achieve psychological and spiritual balance. And it is this sense of balance that can gird up our sense of self, giving us the emotional resources we need as we are actively working towards improving our body image. 

2. Clothing helps us get comfortable communicating parts of ourselves.

Clothing is often identified as a nonverbal form of communication.  We can use clothing to feel better (a.k.a., dopamine dressing) and improve our mood. Or we can use clothing to lean into a miserable mood, creating something beautiful out of pain in a way akin to art therapy. So it’s important to be intentional about the message we’re conveying, not just to others but to ourselves. 

For those who struggle with body image, clothing gives an opportunity to express body image issues in creative ways, and maybe release some tension. I once heard a quote by Diana Vreeland that said something like (and I’m paraphrasing) whatever you don’t like about your body, make that the best thing about you. And of course, this requires some ingenuity and the ability to let go of rigid ideas of beauty, something those with body image issues are working towards. 

If this feels challenging, try doing an experiment and wear something out you’ve always liked and can wear well enough, but unreasonable body image issues have held you back (if you’re not sure what qualifies as “unreasonable” discuss it with a trusted friend or helping professional). Psychologists refer to this as an exposure technique, and it is a way to try out new experiences or ways of being without it being too overwhelming. Afterwards, take tabs on your experience and the reaction of others. Was it as bad as you thought it was? Are there any changes you’d like to make and do you have a healthy plan to make those changes? Can you consider developing a better appreciation for your body in these clothes even in its imperfect state? These are just some questions that will help you better process the experience, and of course it may be helpful to process this with someone else as mentioned.

3. Clothing gives an opportunity to alter questionable body image ideals

Often the reason we don’t like our legs, arms, butt or any other part of our body is because we have internalized alternate beauty standards. In the old days we just had to deal with the parts of our body we don’t like; but now with plastic surgery more accessible, we can change what we don’t like relatively quickly if we have the resources to do so. And while it’s beyond me to tell anyone what to do with their body, as a psychologist, it’s my job to understand the root of these changes. That is, it’s one thing to want to make tweaks to your body, and another thing if the tweaks are never enough. If it’s never enough, it suggests your desire to alter your body is based upon a poor sense of identity, and it is futile to build a healthy image on a faulty foundation. 

While plastic surgery may not be an option for some, clothing is. Fortunately, we have agency with clothes and can make active changes with clothing to accept or reject body image ideals. We can use clothes to cover up parts of our body we don’t like or as mentioned above, show off those parts. According to a concept known as cognitive control, we have the ability to change the way we see a situation. So exercising a sense of control over your clothing can act as a catalyst for having control over the way you choose to see your body. Since body image standards have to start somewhere, why not with you?

If you’ve used clothing to manage body image issues, what ways have they worked for you, or not? Share it with us in the chat. 

4 Wardrobe Color Palettes That Will Get You Excited About Your Outfit

4 Color Palettes to Spruce Up Your Wardrobe

What colors in your wardrobe do you tend to wear the most? Some of us lean towards black or neutrals, others of us tend to choose bright colors, and the rest of us fall somewhere in between. The reasons for our color preferences may be as varied as our idiosyncrasies. Color consultant, Karen Haller says in her book, The Little Book of Colour, that when we perceive color, light waves pass through the same parts of the brain responsible for emotions. So color is very much an emotional experience, and if we’re looking to get excited about our outfit, we can do it through using different wardrobe color palettes.  

In a previous post, I mentioned that any time we see a color, our reaction is based upon a combination of factors like our physiological response to color, our personal and cultural associations with it, and the context in which it’s presented. So when people say they don’t like a certain color, it’s an emotional response that can be attributable to a number of experiences they’ve had with the color, and they may not even be fully aware of all of them. What’s more,  their perception can change depending on the specific mixture of the hue and the other colors the hue is paired or grouped with. 

Personally, I tend to like any color that’s presented in an interesting way. When I feel like I have nothing to wear, challenging myself to come up with different and refreshing color combos can be a way to create a more positive emotional experience. So if you’re looking to get out of a color rut, try these color palettes to get excited about your outfit.

Monochromatic Color Palette

Burgandy Monochromatic Color Palette

A monochromatic color palette is made up of one hue. When we think of a monochromatic outfit we may think of a single mix of a color, and this could feel very limiting. But one hue can have many different presentations when you mix in hints of black (shades), gray (tones), and/or white (tints), all of which give a different feel from moody to cheerful. Here’s my take on a  burgundy color scheme with a mix of tints (e.g., pink and blossom). The color mix keeps it from feeling monotone, although that could be a look too. 

Burgandy Monochromatic Color Palette

Achromatic Color Palette

Black & White Achromatic Color Palette

If you’re not into bright colors, an achromatic color palette may be great for you. It’s an outfit with no color; and consists only of black, white, or gray. It’s dramatic with a cool, urban vibe. And you can add different textures to the no-color scheme for interest. Here, I mix in leather to play up the edgy appeal. 

Vlack & White Achromatic Color Palette

Complementary Color Palette

Blue and Yellow Complementary Color Palette

Complementary colors just fit–literally. When you mix two equal amounts of complementary colors, such as red and green, they create a perfect balance, neutralizing each other to form brown.  They’re colors on opposite sides of the color wheel; and when worn together, they intensify each other. For my complementary pairing, I chose bright yellow and light blue for a delicate, whimsical feel. 

Yellow & Blue Complementary Palette

Analogous Color Palette

Blue & Green Color Palette

Analogous colors, like red and orange, are next to each other on the color wheel. It’s been said that unlike complementary colors which intensify each other, analogous colors soften the other. I always feel there’s an interesting tension with analogous colors, perhaps because it lacks color contrast and appears almost imbalanced or tonal. For my analogous colors, I chose deep blue (minus the shoes) and green. Because there is no bright focal point in an analogous color scheme, there’s nowhere to balance out the eye; and I think this creates a kind of boldness that makes the color pairing appealing. 

Blue & Green Analogous Color Palette

What color palettes are you drawn to and why? Feel free to share it with us.

Apartment Therapy’s Small/Cool NYC Pop-Up: Which Small Space Design is Ideal for Your Personality Type?

Last weekend, I visited Apartment Therapy’s Small/Cool NYC shoppable pop-up in Brooklyn. I love getting inspiration from show houses and capturing memorable pics (all photos by me). It’s always fun to see what designers are up to, and how they’re using furnishings in new and unexpected ways. The Apartment Therapy show house is especially interesting because it challenges designers to be creative with small, cramped NYC spaces. Each room is given a title that reflects the look and feel of the room, and aptly captures the unique qualities each designer brings to the space. As I processed the overall feel of the rooms and the details in it, I wondered what personality types would be ideal for them. Or, what personality types would experience the rooms as the designers intended.  

According to design psychology, our response to spaces is partly attributable to our past experience with place; and a space may trigger traumatic or negative experiences, or evoke high positive associations with past places, sometimes below our level of awareness. What’s more, our personality, including enduring thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that were developed within the context of these past places, also impact our experience of place. And while personality is complex, Dr. Sally Augustin in her book, Designology: How to Find Your PlaceType & Align Your Life with Design, simplifies it for us, offering place types based upon a few basic components of personality.

Essentially, Dr. Augustin highlights three components of personality, including introvert/extrovert, conscientiousness, and openness to experience. Keep in mind that both extroverts and introverts may be great with people and have the ability to move a crowd. The only difference is that people who are extroverted tend to get their energy by being around others, and those who are introverted tend to get their energy or recharge by being alone. Conscientious people are engaged, orderly, and very specific whereas less conscientious people are more laid back. And those open to experience tend to be more daring whereas those less open to experience tend to stick with tradition or what they know. 

Of course, many people don’t fall neatly into any one category; and we may have more or less of any one personality component. But Dr. Augustin’s scale is a quick way to begin thinking about where you lean; and better determine what design styles are most compatible with a working understanding of your personality. For example, extroverted people tend to be more inclined to favor open spaces with high energy, whereas introverted people tend to favor calming spaces that are segmented and allow for private time. Conscientious people are inclined to keep things orderly without much effort, and those who are laid back may need more organizational tools to keep things in order. Those who are open to experience are likely to try something new and unusual than those who are less open to experience. 

So using Dr. Augustin’s personality components, I decided to link personality types to some of my favorite rooms in the show house. While Dr. Augustin uses fancy names to identify the varied dimensions of personality, I won’t identify those names here for the sake of simplicity. Instead, I will just refer to the personality dimensions  themselves. 

Drew Barrymore’s Sunny Style Studio: Extrovert, Conscientious, and Less Open to Experience

Drew Barrymore’s “Sunny Style” studio is said to feel like a “big hug”. It’s meant to be a “delightful”, “cheery”, and “functional”  space. And with pastels, rounded comfy seating, wood surfaces, and busy wallpaper, I’d say it is perfect for someone who is extroverted, conscientious, and less open to experience. 

Here’s why: according to the theory of color psychology popularized by Angela Wright, we are most responsive to seasonal-linked color groupings that match our personality patterns. Specifically, a spring-linked palette is characterized by bright and warm colors, containing no black. It’s associated with being playful, light in mood, and of course, extroversion. And let’s not overlook the William Morris-esque wallpaper. Research shows that curvilinear patterns like this are associated with friendliness and comfort, all very fitting for the gregarious person living in this “Sunny Style” space. 

Next, conscientious people are inclined to be organized and orderly with a penchant for details. So all of the open shelving and functional tools available in this room may be a dream for the more conscientious amongst us looking to show off their organizational skills. And while being less open to experience might seem like a negative, it isn’t. Keep in mind that personality categorizations are designed to help us gain self-understanding, not a judgment. So if you are less open to experience, it simply means you’re inclined to stick with the tried and true, leaning towards more traditional styling. And what’s more traditional than patterned floral wallpaper, wood paneled walls, and natural wood surfaces?

Hollie Velten-Lattrell’s Historic Nowstalgic Salon: Introvert, Laid-Back, Open To Experience

Hollie Velten-Lattrell’s salon appealed to my affinity for modern, English style. With it’s select vintage pieces and bespoke furnishings tied together with modern sensibilities, I’d say it best suited for one who is introverted, laid back, and open to experience. 

Here’s why: as mentioned above, introverts enjoy their alone time, and may want to step aside from the action a bit. Velten-Lattrell’s space has several different seating areas, also referred to as nested layers, that allow people different options within a larger space. So if someone prefers to be alone rather than talk with others, they can. Another thing to point out is the fairly neutral, faded color scheme with a few scattered patterns. Overall, it gives the feeling of calm, most suitable for those who are inclined to prefer relaxed rather than highly stimulating spaces. 

Those who are less conscientious tend to be carefree in their approach to design. And if an arrangement works, they may not exert the effort to change it. Velten-Latrell’s salon feels very easy-breezy, including its functionality as the floral print skirted sette doubles as a lounger. Personally, I’d love to lay out on the settee in front of that bespoke chandelier. The low-hanging skirted fixture creates a sense of intimacy and unpretentiousness characteristic of a more laid back vibe. And the coffee table doubles as both a place to hold drinks and play games, creating a lived-in, laissez-faire kind of feel.

I’d add that the introverted, laid-back person who is more open to experience would particularly enjoy the eclectic furnishings. A floral skirted sofa together with a glitzy mirrored side table; and a vintage modern chair (with to die for chrome legs and circle- shaped feet) next to an antique-looking tapestry is a treat for the daring. 

Kim White’s House of Hacks Living Space: Introvert, Conscientious, Open to Experience

Kim White’s cool, chic modern living space is loaded with multipurpose, functional, and well-appointed furnishings. It’s just right for the jet-setter who needs to come home and regroup before their next trip abroad. With a restrained, yet dramatic color palate; a marble coffee table that doubles as a dining table; and earthy, old-world furnishings sprinkled throughout, this space would be ideal for someone who was introverted, conscientious, and open to experience. 

Here’s my take: chic introverts would be really into this minimal color palette. Introverts also respond well to curated spaces enhanced with varied textures, secents, and sounds as they are particularly sensitive to sensory stimuli. 

As mentioned above, the creative functionality of the space would delight those high in conscientiousness. More than the marble coffee table turned dining table, the neo-traditional storage cabinet also houses a bar, and the wall-mounted desk folds up into a cabinet. These hidden functional items gives the conscientious their much desired efficiency and organization for a clutter-free look.

And appealing to the daring, the mix of earthy and old-world furnishing such as the tree stump stool and the weathered pot, along with classical styles like the bust stool, and modern, streamlined pieces creates a world traveled feel that suggests openness to different experiences. 

Maitri Mody’s Creative Cabinetry: Extrovert, Conscientious, Open to Experience

Maitri Mody’s charming and energizing Scandinavia-inspired space is sure to brighten up moody mornings. The cabinets are said to be “vehicles for self-expression” and when your home feels like you, it goes a long way towards fulfilling your psychological needs. I’d say this space best suits someone who is extroverted, conscientious, and open to experience. 

Here’s why: extroverts tend to be most responsive to highly stimulating spaces; and this is achieved with a number of details such as the bright colored square tiles, different color cabinets, and quirky knobs. 

The kitchen space also includes colorful options for storage; and I think it’s safe to say those high in conscientiousness would be very into it. While those less open to experience are not necessarily risk averse, they may not be as excited by painting their cabinets two different colors in the way those more open to experience might be. For the more daring, it’s an opportunity to go against the grain and try something unusual. 

So what do you think–does your personality style fit any of these rooms? Or, are you drawn to any of the rooms in spite of what we might think given your personality? Maybe you saw other rooms in the show house you’d prefer. If so, I’d love to hear about them and why…Share with us in the comments.

Struggling to Create Your Ideal Home? Try Changing Your Mindset

Grand red striped room made in Midjourney

letting my imagination rip with these ai rooms. Creating anyway you can even without the resources you wish you had is what keeps your passions going.

Grand Red Striped bedRoom created by me in Midjourney.

With social media, we have more access to ideal homes than ever before. No longer relegated to seeing the homes of a few select celebrities in magazines, we get to see homes by regular people who are killing it and making a name for themselves. It’s really easy to get inspired by the homes of these “regular” people, especially when you share a similar sense of style. But what if your vision is bigger than your wallet or resources, and you can’t make inspired changes to your home as quickly or as regularly as you’d like? You may end up feeling discouraged, begin to compare yourself to others, and start to doubt your sense of style. 

If this sounds familiar, you’re no different than the rest of us. But it’s important to be able to insulate yourself from this type of design discouragement that puts a damper on your creativity and ultimately your well-being. According to design psychology, our ideal home should meet more than our aesthetic needs, but our psychological needs as well. That’s our need for love, belonging, and self-expression. And if your home does not satisfy you psychologically— that is, if it does not feel like a true reflection of you, you may experience disconnect and distress, particularly if your experiencing disconnection in other areas of your life. 

Futuristic cottage created in Midjourney

futuristic cottage created by me in midjourney.


So while there are many ways to fix up your home with limited resources, this post is for those days when you feel too discouraged about the state of your home to look on the bright side. Oftentimes, it comes down to understanding the type of control you have over the design of your home. Theories of control propose that there are three types of control we can have over our environment. There is behavioral control, which is the ability to take action;  decisional control, the ability to choose; and cognitive control, the ability to change the way we interpret events in our environment.

We might not have the ability to take action and completely gut our bathrooms or kitchens. Or we may feel our options are too limiting to make it our ideal home, but we can change the way we think of our home; and reinterpret the way we believe we can make it better for us and those who share our space. I like to think of it as creative control. 

While reading through the fall 2023 issue of House Beautiful magazine, I came across the home of designer and co-founder of Collagerie and Colville OfficialLucinda Chambers. It’s a wonderfully, colorful, quirky, stylized home that has been curated over time rather than “designed” in the formal sense. Interviewed by Deputy Managing Editor, Olivia Hosken, Chambers shared that she has lived in the home for 30 years, and bought it when it was “shabby and uninteresting.” What’s more, she isn’t afraid to make design mistakes, championed the idea that there is always an opportunity to start over, and offered that it’s okay for a home to take a long time to come together.  

While we can make assumptions about Chambers’ behavioral and decisional control, her decision to move into a home that was less than enticing, and commit to making it her own over time suggests that she was able to maintain cognitive control. That is, she adapted during the in-betweens when maybe her home was less than she wanted it to be. Typically, homes that are well curated are appealing b/c of the joy each piece brings to the dweller; and in turn, the dweller is able to integrate it into the home in a way that is appealing to others. While a single keepsake, accessory, or furnishing may not be enough to make the whole house feel showcase ready, over time individual pieces begin to make a big impact. Don’t underestimate the ability to choose meaningful pieces from anywhere, a junk shop, big box store, or online that add something intangible to your burgeoning ideal home, making it feel more like a reflection of you, more psychologically satisfying. 

So for those moments when you are discouraged about your home decor and wish certain elements were in place, consider ways you can exercise cognitive control and think of your space in a different way. Here are some ideas.

Green grandmillenial room created in Midjourney

grandmillenial room by me in midjourney.

1. Leave a space empty

Years ago, I read an article in Domino magazine that addressed the reality of trying to decorate your home in your 20’s without the financial stability to afford coveted high-end pieces. It suggested leaving an empty space to make room (mentally and physically) for the high-end furnishings you will afford in the future. Not only is this practice designed to keep you focused on saving up for the piece you want so you no longer have to stare at an empty space, it is also a form of affirmation. That is, every time you see the empty space it reminds you of what you are working towards and gives you the zeal to go get it

2. Use filler furnishings

If the empty space doesn’t work for you, you can also include filler furnishings. Those are place holders you use until you get the piece you want. If you don’t yet have the couch, carpet, or curtains of your dream, use what you have or buy something in its place you don’t mind looking at. The filler piece should be pretty subdued and simple, styled in the best way possible until you get what you want. 

3. Purchase an affordable, unassuming accessory you enjoy

During shopping trips, you may not be able to find the grand pricey pieces you’re looking for or you may not have the funds to purchase them. But how about buying something that seems rather insignificant, yet adds joy to your space— like a cool postcard or a candle, or even collectibles like shells or buttons. Adding these little pieces to your space or a vignette can do wonders to lift your spirits.

Brown skirted couch, pink walls made in Midjourney

brown couch, pink room combo by me in Midjourney.

4. Rearrange furnishings

After seeing your furniture the same way for some time, you can begin to feel bored. So how about switching it up? Research shows that the places adults remember as their most favorite during childhood is the one they created themselves. There’s something about creating and recreating spaces with found objects that feel exciting and at times, magical. And rearranging your furnishings for a new look can give you the same jolt of excitement. It’s as if you you bought something new!

5. Do a deep purge

Sometimes, you may not be able to spend money but you can do a deep purge and get rid of everything that weighs your home down. Once you get rid of everything you don’t need, your home will feel lighter, fresher, and you’ll be in a better position to think clearly about what you need to fill the space. 

6. Create vignettes

While you may not be able to redesign a whole space, you can focus on creating smaller vignettes, and take pictures of them to build a moodboard that showcases your styling skills. It will no doubt expand your creativity, affirm your ability to be creative in less than stellar circumstances, and give you a dose of pretty while you wait to get the bigger design work done. 

What are some of the ways you take cognitive control of your space? Share it with us in the comments.

Using Your Clothing to Help You Get the Lifestyle You Want

Clothing Lifestyle. Pink Skirt and Red Sandals

In a recent blog post, I mentioned one way to tackle a disorganized closet is to figure out the type of lifestyle you want, and organize your wardrobe around it. While it may sound like a mere convenience, using your clothing to help you get the lifestyle you want actually goes a long way towards supporting mental health. Clothes are very much a cultural expression, and we can typically tell what cultural group someone belongs to by the way they dress.  But clothes are more than a cultural expression, they impact our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in significant ways due to a mix of neuropsychological and cultural factors.

Clothing & Cognition

White mini-feather dress and green cowboy boots

My Whimsical look; Symbolizes magical and imaginative.

A theory known as the simulation theory of cognition, holds that cognitive processes are stimulated as we interact with the physical world; and just visualizing an action or thought activates the same brain activity used when the actual behavior is performed (Hesslow 2012). This can explain why imagery is so impactful as our physical experience is intricately tied to our mental processes, hence the term, embodied cognition. This means our thoughts are rooted in our physical experience and  we embody them (Craighero, 2022). 

What’s more, we embody the meaning of clothing we put on. Drawing from the theory of embodied cognition, the theory of enclothed cognition (Adam and Galinsky, 2012) postulates that wearing clothing sets in motion cognitive processes triggered by both the symbolic meaning of the clothes and the physical experience of wearing it. This phenomenon also explains role theory. That is, people adapt to the norms associated with certain roles or positions within a culture based on the cognitive schemas or scripts that they carry around with them about the position or “role” they are in. So if you are wearing a white lab coat and it has symbolic meaning for you as a result of personal and cultural experiences, it will likely trigger your schema for white coats and you’ll act accordingly. 

Clothing & Mood

Pink skirt, red sandals, and black crop tops

My Chic Look; Symbolizes minimal yet impactful.

According to cognitive-behavioral theory, thoughts and feelings are intertwined, and a thought can trigger feelings which reinforces thoughts. With this in mind, we can understand how the experience of wearing clothes with symbolic meaning can alter our mood. Shakaila Forbes-Bell in her book, Big Dress Energy refers to the act of wearing clothes to alter your mood as wearapy; and drawing upon the concepts of enclothed cognition, posits that when we wear clothes we associate with specific schemas it can foster positive moods (e.g., dressing to feel happy, aka dopamine-dressing) or help us to lean in and process negative moods (e.g., wearing all black when in mourning). 

Sample Cases

Jean Skirt with Cap

My Quirky Look; Symbolizes A freedom to be.

So now that we understand the impact clothes can have on our thoughts and feelings, let’s see how curating clothing that fits the lifestyle we want to live can work best for us using sample cases. 

[While these stories may be inspired by real-life cases, they do not depict specific clients and any resemblance to a specific client is coincidental. Also, these sample cases are not meant to take the place of therapy or treatment. And if you are struggling in any of the areas mentioned, it is advised that you speak with a mental health professional.]

Case 1: Corrin has always enjoyed clothes but when she began to experience difficult life experiences, her interest in fashion waned. She lost her significant relationship, wasn’t fulfilled in her career, and had gained weight. Thus, she began to use clothes as a way to hide; and her go-to jeans and t-shirts became her uniform of choice. While jeans and t-shirts offered her physical comfort, her overreliance on them reflected the lack of growth she felt. 

One way to assist Corrin with using her clothing as a catalyst to overcome her distress and better manage her life is to first encourage her to do the work to process her stuckness, and realize her value and goals. She can then better determine what types of relationships she is seeking, and what career she feels will satisfy her. Next, Corrin should identify and purchase clothing she associates with the lifestyle she desires and the goals she is working towards. In turn, the act of wearing the clothes will trigger her schema for those clothes and impact her mood, causing her to feel all the things she associates with those clothes. In this way, clothing can function as her support while she is working through the process to address deeper-level issues. 

Case 2: Natalie struggled with a learning disability and continues to have insecurities about her abilities despite her intelligence. She is currently not in a job she loves, and it triggers insecurities about her ability to have a successful career. Natalie’s insecurities are reflected in her clothing choices as she wears clothes she thinks she should be wearing to look successful (often clothing she does not need or cannot really afford) rather than clothing that makes her feel empowered and confident. 

Natalie can begin by processing her insecurities and affirming her sense of value. This includes considering what it means if she does not wear the clothing she thinks she is expected to wear. Although Natalie feels she has few resources to change her job situation, she can begin to do what is in her power to make a change, even if that means taking a course or learning a new skill. She could then identify the clothing she enjoys and why. This can help her clothing choices be more internally motivated; and gives her an opportunity to choose clothes that have a positive symbolic meaning for her. More than that, Natalie’s decision to make even small strides to pursue a fulfilling career gives her some sense of control that she can mimic in her clothing choices. That is, purchasing clothes she sincerely likes to wear can be a reflection of the sense of empowerment she is developing.  As Natalie experiences clothing that has a positive meaning for her, it can alter her mood, and ignite her belief in her ability to make choices and improve her life.

In essence, while clothing alone may not fix problems, they can support us as we are working towards changing them. How do you think you can use clothing to support your life goals and the lifestyle you want? Consider clothes that have meaning for you when you wear it, and work towards building a wardrobe that supports your growth.