Am I Weird? Dealing with Anxiety and OCD Symptoms

"I'm terrified of speaking in front of people." "I cringe when my mother does my laundry, and I have to wash my clothes all over again just to undo what she did."

"Please don't breathe in my space. I can't stand other people's germs."

If you struggle with anxiety and/or OCD symptoms, these statements are probably familiar to you. OCD symptoms mean you have some symptoms consistent with obsessive compulsive disorder (a severe type of anxiety), but not the full range of symptoms that would qualify you for the disorder. In other words, you can still function but it's complicated. And if you've thought these statements, you probably wouldn't dare say them out loud. In fact, you probably seem pretty "normal" to other people, but the internal anguish you experience is so unbearable that you feel anything but. So does this mean you're weird? Perhaps. But we're ALL a little bit weird. And what you're experiencing is problematic but not impossible to deal with.Let me give you some perspective. Everyone has anxiety— we need it to survive. If we didn't have it, we'd all be like couch potatoes with little motivation to do anything. The problem becomes when we have so much anxiety that we can't tolerate the slightest discomfort, or be happy, or just at peace. Our bodies react to fear with a fight or flight mechanism that allows us to react to danger quickly and without much thought. All unnecessary bodily functions shut down, and we either fight or run away. It's the body's way of preserving itself during emergency situations. But if you're struggling with anxiety, your body is in flight or fight mode all too often, even when there is no life-threatening danger. This is taxing on the body and has been known to be the cause of a number of physical ailments.

So why would we be so afraid when there is no real threat? The mind is very powerful, and if you learned to associate an event, place, or behavior with fear then that association gets strengthened each time you avoid it. This is why it's important not to make anxiety-based decisions. But even if you've had a moment of weakness and gave in to anxiety, a little self-compassion can diminish anxiety's power over you. So what you did something goofy. It's probably a bigger deal to you then to other people. Self-defeating thoughts and sore feelings may creep in, but you can change your thoughts and your feelings will follow.

It's important to know that you are not your anxiety. Think of it as this "thing" that tries to suppress our potential. It's like a selfish little scoundrel, and  prevents us from giving to others the God-given gifts we were meant to share with the world. So where does this "thing" come from? It can be explained by a number of factors, some of which are outside of our control. For instance, biological factors may make you more predisposed to experiencing anxiety than others, and you may have to work a little harder to fight it than the next guy. But we all have to fight something in our lives and you may find that afterwards you come out much stronger than you would have been had you not had to give anxiety a swift kick in the pants over and over again. The more you fight, the more anxiety loses its sting, and you can spend more time focusing on being the best you, weirdness and all. ♥

*The information in this post is not meant to take the place of mental health treatment. If you are in fact dealing with anxiety and /or OCD symptoms, please seek the help of a treating professional.*

Children's Hospital Spacelift: My Hospital Design Project

So word got out that I love to design and decorate. You may know that I work in a hospital where I conduct psychological evaluations on children and families who deal with trauma and abuse related issues. We're big on personality assessments and putting together psychological profiles. And while it's really interesting, it's pretty heavy work. So needless to say I was thrilled when they asked me to decorate our department. It's a nice change of pace from the emotionally intense work I do, and of course a good portfolio builder for my company (read about it here). It all happened when our department expanded its office space and needed someone to decorate it as well as the older spaces that were never decorated. And instead of going through the painstaking process of hiring someone they don't know well, they  hired me (yaaay!). They asked me to decorate all the common areas, including the front and back waiting room, the hallways, and the main conference room.

To prepare for the project, one of the first things I did was research articles on psychology and hospital design. (I wrote about some of it here). Given that the children and parents often come to our offices unwillingly in a state of turmoil and distress, it's important to create a space that is aesthetically pleasing, and reduces the stress of having to be there in the first place. So I used nature as my guiding theme for the design because studies show nature promotes healing, and people feel most comfortable around it.

Of course, I would love to go all out with this project, but apparently, the hospital has a number of limitations that I have to take into consideration. For one, I can't choose new furniture or paint because administration already picked those, and wants consistency throughout the hospital (go figure). So my challenge is to add items that enhance the existing design, and I'm all for a good challenge. So far, I've sourced items and created mood boards for several areas including the front waiting room and the hallways. See it here.

I wanted the front waiting room to be appealing to both children and adults. The water color images are a good fit because they are child-like, yet complex enough to be interesting to adults and older children. I really like the  giant girl painting because she is ethnically ambiguous, and her oversized stature conveys a message of empowerment to the many vulnerable children we see. Also, because the entire space is neutral, I wanted to add a modern aesthetic with pops of color for a clean-lined look that draws clients in. The modern kid's table and chairs are about the only furniture I was able to add. I made sure to include blues and greens which often occur in nature.

mural|| sea life activity table|| cloud ceiling tile|| bookcase||magazine holders|| planters||forest bird painting|| fishes in sea painting|| chairs|| table||girl with red hair painting

 

Decorating the hallways had it challenges especially since it's against regulation to hang pictures or anything that could potentially fall off the wall. So I used decals, and decided to go with a mixed media look since it was difficult to find a wide range of decals with a similar aesthetic. The woodsy, rainforest, and safari nature themes will line two hallways in a repeating pattern. It's appealing to children but I think adults will (at least I will)  get a kick out of it too.

clouds|| cama grass || deer|| birch trees||macaw|| logs||paisley birds||bamboo trees||shrubberies||double macaws|| fox||giraffe|| lorikeet||African tree|| monkey

 What do you think of a nature theme for a children's hospital? There are still a few more areas to do, and I'll be sure to feature each one as it's completed. So stay tuned.

Adorn: Hair Jewelry

Have you noticed the hair jewelry trend? I enjoy wearing jewelry on my neck, ears, and wrist as much as the next person, but it's pretty much status quo. That's why I really appreciate it when I see jewelry used in interesting ways. Why not take the look of a brooch, necklace, or pearls and rework it as a hair ornament? It's the ultimate feminine touch, and whether you're into ornate pieces or a more minimal look, you can find one that suits you. Here are a few I think are really pretty.

So what do you think of hair jewelry?

1. Prada 2. LuLu Frost 3. Modcloth 4. J.Crew

5. Dolce & Gabana 6. Lanvin 7. Celine 8. Olivia Munn

9. Pearl Bobby Pins

Newsworthy: Introducing Truly, LLC

Truly, LLC

I'm very excited to announce the formation of my new creative consulting and wellness company, Truly, LLC. It's where I provide wardrobe and interior consulting, conduct related workshops for organizations and companies, and of course, write this blog. And oh boy! has it been a long process to get to this point. Let me explain.

As you may know by reading my sidebar or About page, I have a doctoral degree in counseling psychology, and getting that degree was in itself a process. You see, I tried several years to get into a doctoral program before I was accepted into one. Why didn't I get in? I really don't know. There could be many reasons— too nervous in the interviews, lack of clarity, or maybe it just wasn't God's timing. With each rejection I was demoralized but also driven to try harder the next time. People kept telling me to stop trying, but I just couldn't stand the thought of looking back and wishing I hadn't quit. I was driven by a pure desire to succeed and to prove I could do it. And I did.

But if you had asked me at the time what I wanted to do with my degree, I may have mumbled something about working with adolescent girls. And while this was (and still is) true, I hadn't fully realized what my career would look like. I hadn't yet considered that a doctoral degree doesn't = a career. Fast forward to my first exposure to blogs. I believe the Paris Apartment was the first blog that captivated me. I was so enthralled with all that beauty captured through graphic design and photographs. Reading blogs became a favorite pastime— a way for me to indulge in my love for fashion and design without being a part of the fashion and design world. I had already decided in college that I would choose psychology over a creative career. And I certainly wasn't going to leave psychology after all the hard work I poured into it. I didn't know I could change, or choose both.

I actually got the idea to start Truly 10 years ago, but it didn't come to me in the form of a blog (I didn't know much about blogs then) or creative consulting. It was the name of my clothing store. I always thought I would open up a store, but never knew how that would fit into my plan to be a psychologist. It took lots of jobs, and a lot  experiences— the good, the bad, and the ugly, to figure out that I could make my career what I wanted. That I didn't have to follow the rules. That God gives us passions to clue us in on our destiny.

Eventually I began to reimagine Truly as more than just a store. I realized that I could use my psychological training to inform my passion for fashion and design, and perhaps set myself apart from other psychologists in a fresh, nontraditional kind of way. So I started a blog. And I began reading and studying the psychology of fashion and design. I even did a short stint as a personal stylist for Anthropologie to learn more about retail. Through the entire process, I started feeling more like myself and not some version of who I think I'm "supposed" to be.

Let me interject here to emphasize that this is the succinct version of my story. It took a lot of tears, sweat, rejections, and did I say tears  before I finally realized my idea to start a creative consulting and wellness company. But thankfully those tears got me here. So without further ado,  let me explain a little bit about the company. I figured you may have basic questions about my services, so I decided to share information in a "Frequently Asked Questions" format. Here it is:

What iswardrobe consulting? Wardrobe consulting addresses  a person's emotional issues as it relates to clothing. Clients who have concerns about their dress work with me, the consultant, to improve their wardrobe behaviors  (i.e., anything from shopping to storing clothes, to creating outfits) and use it to facilitate emotional growth.

What's the difference between a wardrobe consultant and a stylist? A stylist focuses on a person's external image only, whereas a wardrobe consultant goes a little deeper to address the impact that self-perception, self-esteem, and other emotional issues have on a person's external image.

What is interior consulting? Interior consulting uses principles of psychology and interior design techniques to create spaces for clients that trigger high positive associations. I, the consultant, use a number of assessment tools, including a detailed interview to help clients envision their ideal space. The results of these assessments are used to guide the design of the space.

Is consultation therapy? No. consultation is not therapy, although it may be therapeutic. With wardrobe consultation in particular, I only address emotional issues as it relates to clothing, and if any serious emotional difficulties arise, clients are advised to address it in therapy.

What type of workshops do you offer? I call them wellness workshops, and I speak on a number of topics including design psychology, fashion psychology, self-esteem, and other topics that encourage a healthy and purpose-filled lifestyle.

Have you started offering services? Wardrobe consultation is being offered in a limited capacity, and workshops are being scheduled now. Interior consultation will be offered after fall 2015. I'll be sure to update my readers on the status of my services.

Do you have a website? My website is not up yet, but my readers will certainly be the first to know when it is.

I hope this answers some of your questions. And feel free to share any other questions or comments you may have. I'm thrilled to share this news with you and hope you will be inspired as embark upon this challenging but exciting new phase of my career.

Comfort Bags: 5 Great Handbags for Everyday

We all have comfort foods, don't we? Those go-to foods that make you feel just a little better when your stressed, or even better when your happy. I'm a meat and potato girl, and it's very difficult for me to pass up, well, anything carbs really. And that's just how I feel about my trusty handbag.  The one I carry everywhere I go, the one that has everything in it, and sometimes doubles as a baby bag. And if it isn't the bag I'm wearing with my outfit, sometimes I'll just carry it and leave it in the car because it holds things I think I might need. I call it my comfort bag because like comfort foods,  I feel comforted when it's with me. Do you have a bag like that? It's easy to understand why we're so connected to this bag by dusting off our psych 101 books and reading up on  reinforcement and classical conditioning. We get positively reinforced (meaning our desire to take it everywhere is strengthened because we are reinforced by the comfort it gives us), and negatively reinforced (meaning our desire to take it everywhere is strengthened because we are reinforced by the discomfort we feel when we do not have it) to wear the bag. And the more we wear it, the more likely we are to associate the bag with meaningful memories. As a result we are conditioned to feel the same or almost the same way about the bag as we do about the memories (remember Pavlov's dog ?).

I've been on the hunt for a new trusty comfort bag, and found five that fits the bill. Some are out of my price range, but I think when you get a sense of what you like, you can more easitly spot something similar in a lower price range.

Mansurgavriel backpack- Rosa

I found this backpack really striking. It's simple, clean lines, and light pink color feels fresh, modern, and girly. And given that it's a backpack, it's both pretty and functional.

Aridza Bross Anchorage Satchel

This bag looks like it was made for wear and tear. But the worn feel of the leather juxtaposed (my favorite word) with the glitzy gold adds glamour to the everyday.

Luca Michele Fussa bag

This bag has such interesting structure, don't you agree? It seems like an all around versatile bag that would look just as great  at the office as it would running errands.

Just Female Rain Leather backpack

Move over standard locker duffle bag, there's a much hipper, sleeker one in town. Hmmm, I wonder if this bag was inspired by a skunk? Either way it definitely seems like a bag for the ultra cool urban girl.

Miu Miu handbag- blush

Yes, yes, and yes. Look at the structural details, the soft, supple leather, and the feminine color. Don't worry if you can't find the right outfit to wear to work in the morning, this bag will definitely make any outfit you have on.

So what everyday handbags have caught your eye lately?

Pantone Marsala: A Color That Captures the Moment

So with all this talk about Marsala being the Pantone Color of the year, I had to find out more about Pantone and how they chose their colors. I've been hearing about Pantone for some time now, yet never really knew the back story. But I'm pleased to say *swinging my hair back in satisfaction* that I learned quite a bit in my pursuit.

Pantone started as a commercial printing company in the 1950's and Lawrence Herbert, an employee who bought the company in 1962, invented the well-known Pantone Matching System, a system that standardizes colors— you may have seen the bound color swatches. This makes it easier for designers, manufactures, retailers, and customers to communicate color choices accurately and figure out what colors go with what.

Fast forward a few decades, and now Pantone is known as a leading authority on all things color. Pantoneview.com, a color service, connects creatives with color experts for a monthly fee. They highlight what is happening in the world of color, including current color trends across all areas of design. This is where you can learn what the color of the year will be. From what I understand, various countries have what are called color standard groups, and representatives from these groups meet for two days of presentations and debate to decide the color for the following year. It all seems very intense, doesn't it?

So why Marsala? They say the color of the year  is meant to capture the spirit of the times, and when reading about what the experts had to say about Marsala, words such as earthy, hearty, nurturing, and fulfilling were used. This seems in stark contrast to all the social unrest we've had lately from tension between police and the masses to terrorism and beheadings. And with such rapid advances in technology, we are bombarded with information and reality TV-like drama all the time. So of course it would not be unusual to want to resort to a color that feels nurturing and comforting, kind of like apple pie or chicken noodle soup. Marsala is often compared to wine which is glamorous and luxurious, a big trend in design for some time now. But Marsala isn't necessarily an in your face Hollywood Regency glamour kind of color (although it can be with the right finishes and furnishings). Instead it is more organic or natural, perhaps a nice contrast to the obvious glitz and glam we've been accustomed to. I also noticed that there seem to be different shades  of Marsala, or at least people are interpreting it a little differently. I've seen it look anywhere from a near rose pink to as dark as burgundy or wine. Either way, Marsala has not been an easy-to-love color for me. I think I'm just not used to seeing it in modern and chic décor.  But I enjoy when designers can reinterpret unexpected colors or furnishings in an interesting way. This table setting (below) by Emily Henderson is a great example of this.

One thing about Marsala is that it's very versatile. With it's brown and brick red tones, it goes with everything from red to pink to blues. I really like it with the peach/pink curtains— it creates tension with the marsala, and I find a certain amount of color tension invigorating. I also really like the gold chairs and fur seat covers. It feels very glamorous and sexy admist the lovely vintage pictures, dainty curtains, and rustic marsala. The entire mix creates such interest, don't you agree? I've sourced a few of the pieces in case you'd like to recreate the look. I chose pieces that I think really define the look and make it pop. So what do you think, would use Marsala in a room?

peacock print || faux sheepskin || wire cantilever chairs || wine/marsala burlap tablecloth || sheer pink curtains