Need an Interior Designer AND a Therapist? Here's How a Design Psychologist Can Help

You know a beautiful space when you see one. But picking the “right” colors, furnishings, and layout for your own space is overwhelming; and you’ve decided to seek help.  

Cue in “hired interior designer”, someone who can work with you to create a vision, and make it come to life. Sure, you had reservations about working with one. You fear giving control of your space over to someone else, especially at a cost. Nevertheless, you’ve hired an interior designer in hopes of gaining a great space.

Fast forward to the nitty gritty work together. You’re on board with the layout, the furnishings, and colors—well, sort of. To be honest, the wall color looks nice in theory but you’re not sure if it’s something you can sit with every day. And the of-the-moment clashing patterns seem nice, but you wonder if they’re versatile enough to go with other furnishings you might bring in the home. You’re also hesitant to approach your designer with some of the art you’ve stored in the basement because, maybe they won’t work anyway.

Does this angst sound familiar? These concerns are not unusual but may reflect a lack of clarity about the elements you need to create an emotionally supportive space. Of course, any good interior designer would have asked you all about how you plan to use the space, and your likes and dislikes. And you gave them the answers you had at the time; but maybe you weren’t as attuned to your needs as you needed to be. Maybe you weren’t entirely sure about what you needed to create a space that feels fulfilling. If that’s the case, no worries– cue in “hired design psychologist” with the expertise to handle this very issue. Below are 3 ways design psychologists can address your distress and enhance the interior design process.

Help You Better Understand What You Want and Why

Interior designers have the all-consuming and exhilarating task of creating spaces that affect our well-being.  It’s their job to ensure that a space feels harmonious, exudes the right mood, and functions the way it’s supposed to.  While the space may be straight out of an interior design magazine, it also has to resonate with us on an emotional level. And if it doesn’t, we may not always be able to articulate why. So here are a few things to consider.

People develop emotional connections to places based upon the social, cultural, and familial messages that have passed down (via Environmental Psychology for Design).  So it’s quite likely that our response to a room is triggered by associations with similar rooms. A room with a 70’s inspired conversation pit may trigger a very different association than a room with floral wallpaper and matching curtains; and our response, positive or negative, has a lot to do with the meaning those rooms have for us. These meanings are activated by schemas or scripts we carry around with us. They help us make sense of, or comprehend what we are seeing (via Psychology and Design). If we cannot make sense of a room, or it’s very different from what we expect, we don’t usually have a positive emotional response to it.

Secondly, the meanings we ascribe to past experiences don’t occur in a bubble. Any reaction to a room should also consider our personality traits. Our personalities are complex, and it would be difficult to account for every personality type here. But there are a few traits that have been known to predict preferences for specific design elements (via Designology). 

If you prefer energetic, lush environments inclined to give other people sensory overload, you just may be more extroverted. Think rich colors, busy patterns, and open-space concepts-- all the things you need to give you energy. On the other hand, if you prefer calming environments that give you space to think and contemplate life’s deeper meaning, you just may be more introverted. Think less saturated colors, subtle patterns, and segmented spaces—all the things you need to rejuvenate you.  Another personality trait to consider is openness to experience. If your taste bends towards the eccentric and avant-garde, perhaps you're more open to experience. On the other hand, if you are more inclined to go with the tried-and-true in your decorating style, then maybe you’re less open to experience. Knowing these personality patterns may go a long way in helping you articulate not just what  you want, but why you want it. 

Address Emotionally Triggering Design Dilemmas

There are times when designing our space triggers (sometimes subconsciously) strong emotions more reflective of unresolved issues than passion for our design vision. Some may be consumed with regret about life choices, and the feeling of being stuck is permeating into their home design. Their home is filled with unpacked boxes and half-finished design projects that act as tangible representations of their struggle to forgive themselves and others, and live life more fully. 

Others feel stuck because of long-standing issues with low self-worth and self-esteem, and they use their home as validation rather than a reflection of who they are. As a result, they too feel stuck, unsure of how to start furnishing their space for fear that one wrong move will be proof that they don’t really have it all together. 

Still others experience trauma, also known as, “consistent and persistent hauntings of an initial crisis” (via Architectural Principles in the Service of Trauma-Informed Design) that impact the way they respond both physiologically and emotionally to a space.

These issues are what design psychologists are made for, and their knowledge of the emotional impact of spaces can be an asset to any interior designer or client. While there are some issues that need to be more fully unpacked in therapy, emotionally supportive design can be a holding space that reminds dwellers of who they are, who they can be, and what they can accomplish in the world. 

Regret & Design

So how does combatting regret look like in design? Of course it looks different for different people, but any emotionally supportive design supports the person’s highest vision and goals. The late Robert Levithan (who was both an interior designer and a therapist) faced this very same issue when he began working with a client who was living out of boxes for three years due to regrets about past life decisions. The client had dreams of launching a business but had difficulty moving forward b/c she made a regretful decision; and attributed all her career and personal woes to that one decision. And as Levithan pointed out, regret is “misplaced” and leads to the erroneous assumption that one decision is responsible for all our problems. Given we don’t know how any one decision will turn out; nor do we know if that one decision saved us from a harsher fate, we must let it go, and learn to make the most of our current situation. With this idea in mind, Leviathan, helped the client create a space that allowed her to grow professionally and personally. This included a place for her to work her business during the day, and an area for socializing with friends. It was a space that reflected the unstuck version of her. 

Self-Worth & Design

If you are feeling stuck because of anxiety, and a tendency to link your home design to your value, no amount of design will fix the problem; and learning to recognize your value becomes the goal. However, a design psychologist can help you design spaces in a way that reminds you of who you are ( via Interior Architectural Elements that Affect Human Psychology and Behavior). Any “good” design reflects our values and expectations; and influences our behavior. This can be achieved through different elements of design, including form, color, texture, sound, and scent. If you enjoy your friend’s homes for it’s laidback, cultural vibe; but freeze when you think about trying to achieve the same, a design psychologist can help you create an ideal home vision statement (via Some Place Like Home) that allows you to check it against any design decision you make, streamlining the process and avoiding endless ambivalence. 

Trauma & Design

And for those whose unresolved traumatic experiences have wiggled its way into their design experience, know that trauma-informed design was developed to create spaces that include healing properties. A design psychologist can ensure the space includes sensory boundaries (spaces that preserve a sense of security), nested layers (spatial complexity that accommodates different needs and choices), and identity anchors (helps people see themselves in the environment), all of which can be translated into an aesthetically pleasing design (via Architectural Principles in the Service of Trauma-Informed Design). 

Sensory boundaries consider the ways sensory information can be used to help us feel safe and secure. If you want to ensure that sounds are soothing, include design elements that provide the quality of sounds you enjoy (music, soothing water sounds) instead of just trying to block harsh sounds. If you are concerned about being over or underwhelmed, make sure that there is sufficient spatial complexity (e.g., different groupings of seating, privacy areas) that allow people to interact, take breaks, read, or any other activity they choose.  A living space must have enough details to be considered interesting but not generate confusion ( via Psychology and Design). Lastly, in order to feel represented in your space, identity anchors such as furnishings and objects should reflect your interests and values. 

Ensure you have a Self-Actualized Space

Essentially, design psychologists help to ensure that our spaces are not just nice to look at, but also make us feel safe, meet our needs for relationship, and support us psychologically and spiritually. In other words, they help us meet all our needs so that we can feel encouraged to be the best version of us. This is what is known as a self-actualized space; and knowing what your self-actualized space looks like depends on your environmental autobiography– a thorough write-up of your past, present, and future sense of place. (Some Place Like Home). In other words, your history with places, your present experience with home, and your future goals for your space are all wrapped up into recommendations for furnishings, layout, and even areas for growth. Some design psychologists work with interior designers to help achieve this. Others work independently as both the design psychologist and designer/decorator to ensure needs are met and incorporated into the overall design.

To sum it up, a design psychologist works with an interior designer or alone to ensure that you have enough self-awareness to know not just what you want but why; can help you address emotional issues triggered by design; and can help you achieve a space that meets your psychological needs, among others. To that end, a design psychologist is all about helping you achieve fulfilling design to create a space that is both beautiful and makes you feel good too. 

If you want to know more about the design psychology process, feel free to reach out to me at sarah@trulery.com. 

Fashion Retailers Know What Makes You Spend, Do You?

Let’s play a game. It’s called Name that Mission, and you have to identify which mission belongs to which fashion retailer. Okay, go….

1.       To create a unique retail experience with an eye toward creativity and a singular focus on pleasing our customer.

2.       To deliver great value to our customers every day.

3.       To give customers what they want; and get it to them faster than anyone else.

4.       To connect people with the joy of luxury and fashion that lasts a lifetime and beyond.

5.       To make effortless silhouettes that celebrate the feminine figure and pioneers sustainable practices, focusing on people and progress each step of the way.

 Fashion Retailers: Net-a-Porter, TJ Maxx, Reformation, Zara, Anthropologie

 Were you able to figure it out? If not, the answers are at the end of the post.

Okay, so why did I have you do that exercise, you say? I want to emphasize that each fashion retailer has a vision for their business, all with a slightly different focus that may be more or less appealing to you. Personally, I find them all quite appealing, and I think that’s the point—to be able to develop a mission that is attractive enough to as many people as possible. Because of course, the bottom line is to be able to make sales. And in order to do so retailers have to understand their customer. In fact, they spend a lot of time and money doing so.

Many books and blog posts are dedicated to helping retailers understand how to get customers to their store; and much of this knowledge relies on an understanding of psychology or human behavior. While this is great for retailers, and us too if they offer us what we want, it can be a problem when retailers have a better understanding of us as customers than we have of ourselves. Without self-awareness, we place ourselves at risk of overspending as a faulty way to cope with personal issues. So here are three closely related triggers that cause us to overspend; and some ways to offset them. 

1.       Dopamine

It seems dopamine has become the new buzz word, but in case you aren’t sure what it is, it’s a neurotransmitter. Neurotransmitters sends messages between neurons, nerve cells that send messages from the brain to the body so that the body knows what it’s supposed to be doing (that’s how your body knows to click on the link to this post). Dopamine specifically, is involved in pleasure; and research shows it is released whenever we anticipate a reward. So if you are excited about going shopping for an event later in the day, dopamine is released as soon as you made the plans. Once you find that perfect outfit, dopamine reinforces the desire to shop which keeps you looking forward to doing it again. On the other hand, if you don’t find the outfit you were looking for, your dopamine levels drop, and this increases your motivation to find what you want. In fact, when a situation becomes unpredictable, your anticipation increases, and releases more dopamine than if you found what you were looking for. This can explain why we shop til we drop looking for what we can’t find (or at least I do, ha!).

 So what role does dopamine play in overspending? Well, a closely related concept to overspending is impulsive buying; and according to researchers it is “a sudden compelling, hedonically complex purchase behavior in which the rapidity of the impulse purchase decision precludes any thoughtful deliberate consideration of alternatives or future implications.” So basically, you buy things you didn’t intend on a whim.

 Some researchers say online shopping increases impulse buying because of easy access, and other researchers say in-person shopping increases impulse buying because there is more sensory stimulation; and then there are researchers who suggest it is more dependent on personal factors. Either way marketing strategies such as easy online payment and free shipping; sales and discounts; and visual merchandizing are all enticing and used by retailers to increase impulse buying. These eye-catching tactics can all lead to an influx of dopamine if it causes us to anticipate a reward. Since so many of us shop online nowadays, just the act of anticipating a package increases dopamine which in turn reinforces us to shop online.

 2.       Boredom

 It’s something we all experience from time-to-time, but did you know that research shows being bored can have an effect on impulse buying? According to researchers some people shop online for clothing impulsively to avoid the monotony and frustration of boredom, particularly if they are into fashion. And these people are particularly vulnerable to the marketing strategies mentioned above. Social media also triggers them to buy as they compare their bored state to others who seems to have so much more fun and look great doing it. Some feel the need to reward themselves for the boredom they have endured, and thus an impulse purchase feels like the right thing in the moment. Altogether these examples show that a negative mindset may cause people to feel they deserve to buy something on impulse; and just the act of filling the shopping basket can lead to a burst of pleasure (thanks to dopamine). While many of us may shop for clothes to alleviate a negative mindset from time to time, be aware of making it a habit as it can lead to overspending, making it more difficult to process and manage negative feelings.

 3.        A Desire to Feel Good About Ourselves

Research shows that boredom contributes to the feeling of being meaningless. When we are bored, we are often looking for something that interests us, and often the lowest hanging fruit is social media which is full of people in beautiful clothes, and ads that feature the beautiful clothes. Research shows that boredom tends to be complicated by context (e.g., being alone) which can lead to feelings of meaningfulness, and an unsatisfying social identity. So we buy impulsively to verify our identity through clothing. And while we want our clothes to be self-affirming and support our identity, we don’t want to buy impulsively as a way to feel better about ourselves. This makes us more likely to buy clothes we regret later, and does not lead to lasting self-esteem. Because if the right clothes can give us our self-esteem, the wrong ones can take it away.

Some ways to offset these issues and avoid overspending is to be aware of the way our brain responds to anticipation and perceived rewards, negative mood, and feelings of inadequacy; and adjust our behaviors accordingly. So for instance, while sales tactics and visual merchandizing may be pleasing to us, and reinforce the desire for perceived rewards (i.e., a great outfit); be clear on what it is you need in your wardrobe, even if you have to carry a reminder with you. And if it doesn’t fit what you need, don’t buy it.

Answers to Name That Mission: 1. Anthropologie 2. TJ Maxx 3. Zara 4. Net-a-Porter 5. Reformation

Mindfulness and the Urge to Buy

How many times have we walked into a store with the intention of buying one thing only to come out with much more? Or we were just window shopping and spent money we really didn’t have on shoes we had to have? How about the times we bought multiple tops because they were on sale, but we probably wouldn’t have gotten them otherwise?

All of these scenarios fall under impulsive buying behaviors. Research describes impulsive buying as “sudden and unplanned buying ” that occurs “without thinking about the potential future consequences of the action performed.” In other words you buy on an urge, and maybe you’re seeking the pleasure that comes along with these impulse buys. This is known as hedonic shopping value and refers to the pleasure we gain from getting something— sometimes to compensate for sadness, fear, or just boredom. All too many of us shop to feel better or experience the high that comes along with getting something new. And this doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but it can be problematic if we rely on it too much. This increases the risk of regretful purchases and poor money management.   

So what can we do to counter too many impulse purchases? Researchers advocate for mindful consumption, the “application of mindfulness to inform the choices consumers make in the world.” Mindfulness, drawn from eastern practices, is a state of mind that focuses us on the present without judgment, and allows us to observe our thoughts, sensations, and emotions without acting upon them. With mindfulness, we focus our attention on our task, not the past or future, and create joy with attention.

Mindfulness is a technique I have practiced with children in trauma-focused treatment; and love the idea of using it to make us more conscious shoppers. With the children, I did a focused breathing/mindfulness/meditation exercise to help them manage complex feelings, thoughts, and behaviors related to the trauma they experienced. Here’s how it works.

So quiet your thoughts, and consistently refocus your attention on your breathing. Do not be distracted by external objects or internal thoughts or feelings. By directing all your attention on your breathing, you become both relaxed and aware. Be aware of any thoughts that arise during your breathing and redirect your attention back to breathing. The goal is not to judge, reject, or focus on the thoughts but to redirect your focus to the act of breathing.

So if we apply mindfulness to our shopping habits, it might look something like this.

Focus on your task at hand, what you came into the store to do.  Observe your urges, thoughts, and feelings (e.g., I have to get this now or it will be gone) without judgment and let them pass. This helps us avoid acting out our conditioned responses or habits. If you need to focus on your breathing, or say an affirmation or prayer, then feel free to do so. After the shopping experience, process what occurred. You are now in a better position to determine if the item you saw would really add value to your wardrobe, home, or whatever you need it for.

Repeat this process each time, and assess whether or not you are making better decisions. Would love to know about your experience in the comments. :)

The Fantasy of Fashion: Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2022

They say the pandemic made us all more relaxed. We no longer had to get dressed to go out, and could make it on sweatpants and slippers, at least on zoom. But I think the opposite also holds true. The pandemic made us want to show up and show out all the more, probably as a way to escape some of the confines that isolation placed on us. While fashion has always been about the ultimate self-expression, the pandemic made me appreciate the drama and fantasy of fashion a lot more.

According to Otto Von Busch and Daye Hwang in the Feeling of Fashion, “fashion is an adventurous play and a gamble of sorts…an excitement, a moment of risk taking…a rushing sense of aliveness.” They argue that through fashion, “the prosthesis of the imagination” we put ourselves out there to be “judged by others” and “either this emotional gamble works or it does not.” Whew, what an exhilarating take on fashion! (and maybe a little scary?) If we play the “game” as they put it, we are actually putting ourselves in a position of vulnerability, revealing an “extended prosthesis of the self”, and maybe hoping (or not) that others will join in our fantasy with us. In this way, clothing as fashion becomes an extension of the body and mind, a way to say things about ourselves in the most creative ways if we choose. It allows us to be unique and at the same time, connect with others who understand our sartorial language.

I love the fantasy and excitement of fashion, and by the looks of this season’s fashion shows, it seems designers do to. I’ve collated the work of a few designers whose imaginative themes caught my attention, and made me want to come up with a fantasy theme for my own outfit. Read about the vision behind their dreamy looks below.

These opulent, shapely looks are from the Son Jung Wan fashion show, and the designer, Son Jung Wan, calls it the Enchanting Romance Collection. She was simply inspired by what she loves, “natural draping”, “pleating” and “dramatic color.” Some of the pieces are ultra romantic, others have a retro spin, and still others have a modern edge; yet the collection is held together with alluring fabrics and cuts. [pics from fashionweekonline.com; quotes from youtube]

The Altuzarra show by Joseph Altuzarra was a lesson in how to take the wanderlust theme to the next level. According to the designer, Joseph Altuzarra, the looks tell the story of a “sailor that’s seduced and then transformed into a mermaid”, hence the nautical references mixed with long fitting knit dresses, and gowns that resemble mermaid scales. I love the juxtaposition of the structured military look with the sense of fluidity associated with water. It’s that balance of structure and freedom I think we can all relate to. [pics and quotes from vogue.com]

The Victor De Souza collection by designer Victor De Souza, was full of fancy. Inspired by the interplay between “tradition and novelty,” he said, “I like to protect woman with clothes which is why my clothes are very armed.” Wearing clothes for protection fulfills our most basic physical needs and our social needs as well; and De Souza’s decision to incorporate that into his designs feels nurturing. While he could have gone full military or something ultramodern, he chose to protect with exaggerated, fairy tale detailing— a throwback to an older era. Often, when we have experienced trauma or hardship like a pandemic, we resort to comforts from the past. [pics from jtdapperfashionweek.com; quotes from l’officiel.com.ar]

The Proenza Schouler show designed by Jack McCollugh and Lazaro Hernandez proves that structured, tailored clothing don’t have to be stiff and traditional. They described their collection as the “new formality.” "It feels like we’re entering a new moment in our careers, in the world”, they said, “[the shapes] almost look like slight, historical nods.” At least for now, it seems that the world of fashion can be divided into pre- and post-pandemic dress; and this “new moment” they refer to likely reflects our new, more integrated way of viewing the world. Home, work, and school have all been mixed up with little delineation between them; and we may be more cognizant of our clothing doing double-duty than we did pre-pandemic. The collection feel pared down yet dramatic with full draping and a few glittery details on basic shapes that can be worn in multiple settings. Again we see the the nod to history, possibly reflectimg a desire to connect with the familiar. [pics from vogue.com; thecut.com]

“Young and Bold” is what Christian Juul Nielsen’s line, Aknvas, is known for. His collection is filled with “bright reds, yellows, oranges, and greens with pastels…to create fantasy pieces meant to be worn every day.” The collection is also infused with “dramatic outwear” that helps us to move “seamlessly from executive morning meetings to fashionable evening events.” I find the idea of clothing being both fantasy and dramatic on one hand, and everyday on the other very exciting and motivating. I can see it putting a little extra pep in my step. [pics from fashionado.net; euphoria.com]

I would say Moschino’s latest collection by designer, Jeremy Scott, is the ultimate example of fashion meets fantasy. He described his theme as “old money mansion”, and all the clothing and accessories look like they came from an old mansion with gilt framed detailing, cutlery-shaped ornamentation, bombay chest shaped dresses, drapery gowns, and more. It’s been referred to as “Beauty and the Best enchantment” with “household appliances” turned into “animated creatures.” Besides it being a ton of fun (and crazy), there is something to be said for turning a Disney theme into fashion that we can all recognize and join in on some level. While most of us would not wear a lampshade on our head or a clock on our chest, I can get with some cutlery earrings and a valance-shaped dress, wouldn’t you? [pics from vogue.com; quotes from fashionista.com]

All of this fantasy has really got me thinking how we can infuse a little drama into our everyday outfits. I don’t think the outfits have to necessarily look dramatic, but I think it would be interesting to see what we could create if our outfits had a thought out theme. So let’s give it a try! It may be a social risk like the above authors mentioned; but I think it is worth playing the “game” if it helps us to repeatedly refine our self-expression each time we try. Check out my IG reel to see my “turn of the century woman” outfit, as in the 20th century. I’ve been watching a lot of turn of the century footage and documentaries from the Gilded Age era which actually falls at the end of the 19th and beginning of the 20th century. I find it fascinating how the women put on rather than took off clothes to be sexy. So I imagined an outfit inspired by that time and needless to say it felt very Anne of Green Gables meets uptown girl, ha.

Does Your Office Design Support the Therapy Process? Designing for an Optimal Therapy Experience

During my seven years of graduate training in counseling psychology, I learned a whole lot about psychological theory, assessments, ethics, and psychotherapy. But I cannot recall any significant discussions about office design. It was very much absent from my educational experience; and not one I really considered seriously until recent years. Research has shown that the office space is integral to the treatment process, and not the cute afterthought we sometimes make it out to be. In fact, sometimes a client’s first impression of the therapy office can turn them away; or a different office may make them feel differently about a therapist they have been seeing for a while.

In order to understand why the therapy office holds so much weight, we can look to theories that address the impact physical environment has on our perceptions.  Research shows that when we walk into a room, our brain does three things— identifies objects, maps them (e.g., couch to the left, dying plant on the right near the bookshelf), and associates them (e.g., dying plant associated with neglect and fear). These associations occur all at the same time and below our conscious level of awareness.  They trigger what we call schemas— schemas are scripts we use to organize our world; and the features of an office design can trigger a range of different schemas (e.g., schemas for home, hospital settings). The schemas that gets triggered are the ones that closely resemble the experience we are currently having. So clients associate different meanings to the objects in the therapy room depending on their experiences. And the real meaning behind these objects is determined by the symbolic meaning these objects have to those perceiving it.

While it’s one thing to know that the office space is important, it is another thing to know what to do about it. Research has begun to uncover a number of elements that best support the therapy process. See a few below:

1.    Make it Homey

Studies shows clients prefer soft, personalized office spaces over ones that feels hard and impersonal. By “soft” they mean things like upholstered chairs, wallpaper, curtains, throw rugs, plants, and table lamps. And personal elements refer to things like pictures of family members, photographs, knickknacks, books, and pillows. In other words, these are spaces that feel more like a traditional living room than an “office” or clinical setting. Clients have also shown a preference for orderly office environments. Not surprisingly, no one really wants to process intense emotional issues in a complex and cramped space. Interestingly, the research shows that clients’ experience with therapy improved with the softness, personalization, and neatness of the office. They felt safe in these places, like they could open up. And of course, homey office spaces also carry the added benefit of creating a more satisfying work environment for the therapist, which may inadvertently improve their skills as a therapist.

Other research shows the importance of the spatial design. In one study, clients were most attracted to therapists who did not place a desk or table between them and the therapist. It was thought that these barriers impeded communication, warmth, and acceptance. Thus, it can be said that the spatial design of the room can support connection.

me and my faux client (AKA my son)

2.    Help Them See The Light

Sometimes overhead fluorescent lighting is all we have when we get an office space. And often the light is garish, causing the office to feel less than warm. This can explain why studies show clients prefer yellow or dim lighting instead of different color lights; and the warmer lighting was related to increased disclosure. If you are stuck with overhead lighting, try bringing in table lamps and/or lights on dimmers— it may go a long way to facilitate an environment where clients feel safe to open up.

Also let’s not forget the importance of sunlight. Sunlit rooms lift our moods while prolonged exposure to fluorescent lighting has been shown to dampen them. So if natural light is an option for you, take advantage of it when you can.  If not, there are ways to get around it. (See number 3).

3.    Go Natural

Nature just makes us feel better. It helps us restore our mental energy after we’ve drained it with extended focus or concentration. And studies have shown the healing benefits of nature. In fact, people prefer seeing wood-grain because it has been known to de-stress us. But if your office has no windows, you can still get that nature vibe. Artwork with nature scenes and bursts of sunlight, or faux plants that look real can provide similar benefits to the real thing. You might even consider putting a fish tank in your office— just like with artwork, it provides a positive distraction and a bit of relief during challenging sessions.

4.    Show Them What You’re Working With

You’ve worked really hard for your diploma and certificates so why not let your clients know. I’ve been guilty of keeping my diplomas in boxes myself. But it can be reassuring when clients see signs of expertise around the room. It can let them know they’ve made the right choice. Even books (which goes back to the homey idea) can do more than provide comfort. It shows clients your interests; and gives them the opportunity to connect with you in positive ways, thus enhancing the client-therapist relationship. Note to therapists: clients looked to objects to gather clues about you and determine things like expertise, similar interests, and traits (e.g, warmth, distant ). In this way, the office design is secondary to the client-therapist relationship.

Of course, there is not one specific therapy office design than can guarantee a stellar therapy experience. But why not support the therapeutic process as much as you can by providing comfort and safety, and a chance for connection? I’d like to think of it as another form of communicating with the clients, and providing additional opportunities for rapport building. It’s the therapists’ job to function as a container for clients’ problems; and this “container” is not just emotional but extends to the physical environment as well.

Drawing Style From Pain

“What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” is an old adage many of us have used to feel better about the hard times we face. It reminds us that we must draw our strength from pain, whether we want to or not, in order to survive, or better yet, thrive. A closely related concept is the idea of creating art out of pain. History is filled with individuals and people groups who have created something beautiful from pain. In fact, much of creativity evolves from some sort of dis-ease, a desire to get something out in a way that relieves the uneasiness. I’m often interested in cultural movements like hip-hop— a culture that originated from the creative minds of an oppressed people with few resources. It’s not only expressed through music but through clothing and the way people style themselves. That is in essence, drawing style from pain, clothing style to be exact. And by pain, I mean anything that creates a disturbance in us. Of course, fashion never takes the place of dealing with emotional difficulties through clinical interventions like therapy and medication. But it can be used as a supplement in much the same way art therapy uses art to assist with healing.

So if whole cultural movements do it, how do we as individuals use pain to develop our style? Is that even a thing? Let’s consider the Rudd and Lennon model of body aesthetics. According to the model, we internalize cultural ideas of beauty and create our appearance accordingly. When we are not satisfied with our created appearance or others’ assessments of it, we develop coping strategies. Some of them include, trying harder, giving up and feeling badly about how we look, and changing our own personal standard of what is beautiful.

So this model gives us some insight into a few things. 1. It’s difficult to develop our sense of style without responding to a cultural ideal. 2. We should try to be aware of how we have internalized these standards and how they affect us. And 3. We can create our own personal style based upon the standards we have internalized and rework them to express various aspects of ourselves. I believe it is in this re-working process that we draw style from pain. Let’s say someone perceives us as shall we say, less than attractive.  We can try harder to fit their ideal or feel badly about ourselves (neither is appealing). Or we can change our personal standard of what is beautiful. One way to do that is to dig deep, figure out what interests us, what we like, and how that relates to who we are. If we are successful at doing this, we stop placing so much value on our looks (so it’s fine if you are considered beautiful or average) and place it on the things that give us joy. This is where our beauty lies. It is from this space we can create. And ironically, what started as painful becomes art. So how do we do turn pain into clothing style, practically speaking?

Ok. Here are my ideas.

1.       Exposure

Study your surroundings. Watch people, nature, and the way things move and interact around you. What do you like or don’t like? I loved the grey hair with pink tint on this lady, or the way that girl wore her head scarf, or the unique swagger that guy had. I also liked the way that flamingo looked perched on the gate... (you get the idea). We may not always know how these experiences will translate into our clothing style, but keep it stored and see if we can use it to turn pain into something creative later.  

Study different forms of media- art books, art history books, magazines, coffee table books, online images. We can get inundated with social media so looking at books can be a refreshing change, particularly old design books that can provide a wealth of context for our modern world, and maybe even our pain.

seeing what’s out there

2.       Dress the Different Parts of you

During periods of discouragement or sadness you still have to get dressed. So what parts of you would you be excited to express. An edgy side, a feminine side, a [insert here] side… The idea is that we have all seen some aspects of someone or something we connect to, and this is in an indication that what we see is a part of us. Similar to actors who are able to play different roles b/c they pull from a part of them that can relate to the character, even if it isn’t pretty. I have these floral, wide leg pants that I call my Jimi Hendrix pants. They remind me of something Jimi Hendrix would wear, and I love them. But what is it that I really love? Jimi Hendrix is way more wild than I’ll ever be, yet something about his wild, cool vibe, and crazy colored clothing seems exciting and fun—that is, there is a little bit of that I can relate to. So I wear it to express that part. Maybe it just makes me feel better; or it’s a side of me that is being overshadowed by a more discouraged side, and I want to let the wild side out. Whatever the reason, we can use positive self-expression to drown out the pain. Here are some different sides that I like to express with my clothes.

Rock star Pants (i.e., my jimi hendrix pants)

quirky school teacher or maybe Librarian Chic

dreamy with a dose of practicality

3.       Make the details the main thing

In this age of the internet, there is no new outfit under the sun. There isn’t going to be a store no one else has access to. There isn’t going to be an item of clothing only you have—unless you make it yourself maybe. The point is, everyone has access to everything, so developing your style based upon clothing pieces alone may not feel unique or interesting enough to combat the pain. It’s all about how you put pieces together—how you mix the ingredients. And starting from a place of pain has it’s advantages because our pain is unique to us. What does your discomfort make you feel; and how can you put outfits together in a way that draws from the pain in a creative way? Often, if my outfit isn’t really speaking to me, I make it about my nail color or jewelry, the way a shirt is tucked in, or the way I wear a scarf, and somehow it makes me feel better about my outfit. The other day I saw a celebrity in a string of pearls and a T-shirt and was immediately drawn to it. Why? It’s no secret I love juxtaposition but somehow it seemed fresh—maybe because it was just one string of pearls, understated and elegant with a throw away T-shirt. It felt accessible and faux upscale in a fun way—it felt like a energizing way to combat some of the discouragement I was feeling. More recently, I was admiring pointy black nails and minty green short nails—both very different looks, but both expressed something beyond my pain. A little vamp, a little uptown…something other than discouragement. In much the same way a boxer might box to release tension, drawing style from pain allows us to release our negative energy into something productive.

all about the head scarf…or coat

all about the string of pearls

What are your ideas about drawing style from pain? Is this something you are attuned to? I’d love to hear your thoughts.